


late night thoughts and late night snacks

by whatisUPgaymers



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: College, M/M, Trans Fiddleford H. McGucket, Trans Ford Pines, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-08
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 05:28:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23539897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatisUPgaymers/pseuds/whatisUPgaymers
Summary: oh so you're yearning?  you're yearning and pining?
Relationships: Fiddleford H. McGucket/Ford Pines
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	late night thoughts and late night snacks

**Author's Note:**

> i was nervous abt posting this but then i realized if i did it'd be the 420th work in the fiddauthor tag

The window was open a crack, cool night air occasionally brushing against his face as a reminder of that fact, but Ford couldn't feel more suffocated.

He kept his eyes trained on the ceiling, tracing over every bump. It felt like looking around the room would practically be a death sentence.

Thinking late at night had always been a common occurrence for him, of course. But… he didn't usually lose  _ this _ much sleep over it.

Taking a deep breath, he dared to glance across the dorm. There, blankets long since kicked about into a tangled up mess, holding onto his pillow like it was the only thing keeping him from floating up into the stratosphere, was Fiddleford. Watching his chest gently rise and fall, Ford had never before wanted so desperately to be a  _ pillow _ of all things, even as he noticed the pool of spit gathering on the pillowcase.

That… that was the issue, now, wasn't it? Not the spit part. Sure, that wasn’t exactly  _ ideal, _ but, well-  _ just never mind that. _

Letting a shaky breath out his nose, Ford rolled over to face the wall. It most certainly was  _ an _ issue. He'd sworn off romance around the fifth time someone told him to ask a girl out and said girl screamed in response. In hindsight, not only was making girls scream probably the whole point of that, but… being  _ told _ to like somebody most likely did nothing to prepare him for when the real deal finally happened.

It also didn't make him feel confident in his chances, either. Sure, Fiddleford was always so polite, and kind, and sweet, and  _ perfect, _ but… How could he know for certain that demeanor would hold up at the prospect of becoming even closer? How could he say without a shadow of a doubt that someone he'd only known for such a small fraction of his life wouldn’t back out now when  _ countless other people- _

No. Don’t go down that train of thought again. Not right now. There’s more important things to worry about.

_ Anyways. _

His sudden feelings for his roommate.

… Actually, come to think of it, they weren't so sudden at all. Laughing at some stupid nerdy joke, speaking softly while studying together, having a rhythm to most of his actions that shined through the brightest when he was deep in thought… The only thing  _ sudden _ about Ford's feelings for Fiddleford was him realizing what exactly they were.

So, there's that part settled, he supposed- he's accepted that he's in love with him. And for good reason. But how is he meant to approach that fact? He can't exactly consider how to  _ date _ him- imagining how Fiddleford's lips may feel against his own for just a  _ moment _ was the whole reason he was struggling to fall asleep in the first place. Trying to think of how he'd even get there at all would be far worse.

Across the room, Fiddleford stirred. Ford held his breath and kept his eyes glued to the wall. Maybe he was still asleep. Maybe he wouldn't realize he'd been awake this whole time. Maybe he wouldn't ask, maybe Ford would never have to admit to  _ anyone _ that he stayed up late at night thinking about how much and in what ways he had fallen in love, maybe he could just file this all away with the rest of his problems.

… Did it  _ have _ to be a problem?

The sounds that followed next were that of sitting up, getting out of bed, and scratching through one's hair all the while. Fiddleford yawned. Ford tensed up even more. But as the moment stilled, he knew that did nothing to help him hide.

"You're still up?"

Sighing, Ford rolled back onto his back. "Yep."

"Well, hey, if you wanna do somethin' other than just laying here in the dark, I mean…" There was that laugh again, even more heart-melting when coated in a layer of sleepiness. "I've got the munchies  _ real _ bad right now."

"... Guess I could go for a snack right now, yeah."

* * *

And just like that, they made their way to the nearest convenience store. They didn't bother putting on proper clothes, let alone binding or even putting on anything baggier- anyone else who would've been there at this hour  _ should _ be too tired to care, assuming they weren't too tired to notice in the first place.

… Maybe things  _ would _ turn out just fine, in the hypothetical situation where Ford had the guts to say it all out loud. After all, in at least  _ this _ respect, they were "unusual" in the exact same way. He understands how it feels to be pushed away over something you can’t help. In fact, come to think of it, what would be  _ actually _ unusual would be for Fiddleford to suddenly make such a heel turn on accepting Ford just because he  _ likes _ him.

Shaking his head and hoping it'd shake away any visible redness his face might have with it, he pushed the thoughts of romance away to simply follow Fiddleford through the aisles. As many times as he turned down his snack suggestions (turns out he wasn't actually hungry, just craving to spend more time together- which, frankly, he should've expected), he still wound up with a slushie in his hands by the end of the little excursion. He wasn't sure  _ how _ that happened, but, well… it was his favorite flavor. He wasn't about to complain.

… Wait, did Fiddleford know his favorite flavor? When would he have found  _ that _ out?

Oh. Right. He can just  _ ask _ him. "How'd you know I like this…?"

Looking up from opening the door, he smiled. "Lucky guess, I s'pose."

Ford's heart fluttered, which he  _ really _ didn't need right now. Nodding, he passed through the door held open. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it." Fiddleford gestured into the darkness ahead of them with a small bag of chips. "So, you wanna find a place to sit, or would you rather head back now?”

"... There's a bench  _ right _ across the street from us."

"Well, would ya look at that."

He awkwardly shuffled towards said bench. "... Sooo… that."

Laughing lightly, he followed suit. "Sure thing."

It was a rather wide bench. They didn't  _ have _ to sit next to each other, and Ford sat at one end for that very reason. But Fiddleford still sat  _ directly _ next to him. Ford didn't  _ actually _ take issue with that, Fiddleford could sit wherever he wants- but he  _ did _ more or less (in hindsight, probably less, but who’s counting?) just vow not to think about him in a romantic fashion while they're so near to each other at least. Which he found rather difficult when he could feel the warmth of his shoulder against his own.

"Whole lot chillier outside than in our room, huh?"

Ford sipped at his slushie, keeping his eyes on the ground. "Yeah." Silence hung for a moment as he kept drinking, before he felt fingers weaving between his own.

When he saw Fiddleford's face again, it was one of sympathy. "What's got you all… stuck in your thoughts?"

"Have you  _ met _ me?"

" _ More than usual, _ smart alec."

He wanted so badly to pull his hand away, anything to calm his heart, but he knew that would give the wrong idea. Either that, or the technically correct but still  _ wholly unwanted _ idea. "... I don't want to talk about it." At least he wasn't lying through his teeth.

His eyes grew even softer. "Well, if you ever  _ do _ want to, you know where to find me. Whatever it is."

Not even thinking about it, he mumbled to himself, "You don't want to hear it."

"Oh, shut up."

It was mainly the soft tone with which  _ that phrase, of all things _ was said that surprised him. " _ What? _ "

"I said shut up. I don't care  _ what's _ worrying you, I'll listen to you as much as you need me to."

"You'd probably just think less of me if I-”

" _ Hogwash! _ " Setting his chips down, he placed his now free hand on Ford's shoulder. "You could tell me  _ anything, _ I'll still just see the greatest man I've ever known when I think about you."

Eyebrows furrowed, shoulders limp, looking at Fiddleford, he almost felt like he was falling all over again. " _ Anything? _ "

" _ Yes, _ anything."

"Anything at all?"

He laughed as he pinched his cheek. "Look, I mean it, alright?"

"No, no, I'm sure there's  _ some _ possibilities you're not accounting for when you say that-"

"Would it help if I told you something I think might make  _ you _ think less of  _ me _ first?"

Blinking, he squinted at Fiddleford. "I-  _ what? _ I mean, yeah, that’s a good possibility, but what could  _ you _ be hiding that's so bad?"

His eyes drifted away from Ford to where their hands connected on the bench. “Well, for starters… I’ve got this  _ massive _ crush on somebody most people can hardly even stand to be around. For real stupid reasons, sure, but they still just…  _ don’t. _ Seems like they never have. He-” Looking like he didn’t mean to say that, he froze for a moment, but didn’t seem to make any move to retract it. “He’s great, of course, but- well, knowing him, he’d probably use all that other stuff to act like he doesn’t deserve me or something.”

“... Fidds, what on earth could I possibly dislike about anything you just said? That’s some of the sweetest stuff I’ve ever heard.” He took a quick sip of to wash away any jealousy that could rear its head. “Whoever this guy is is  _ incredibly _ lucky.”

Fiddleford glanced to the side, fingers twitching between Ford’s. “... Yes…  _ whoever… _ ”

“I-  _ wait- _ ” The points connecting in his mind,  _ the fact that he’d perfectly guessed what was keeping Ford up in the first place and didn’t even seem to realize it, _ he all but dropped his slushie. “Do you- …  _ Me? _ Are you serious?”

Face starting to grow red, he drew his hands away. "Well… yeah."

"You… you beautiful, impossible, impeccably-timed man."

His eyebrows furrowed as he processed that sentence. “... Okay, what sort of response is this? Not sure if I should keep feeling mildly ashamed, orrrr…?”

"I…" Everything in him practically buzzing, he connected their hands once more. "Y’know, it seems I was wrong before." Though his insides felt more and more twisted around with each beat of his heart, he smiled wider than he had in quite some time. “It sounds like you  _ would _ like to hear what I’ve been thinking about so much tonight.”

The night sky was wide open over them, cool night air occasionally blowing around them as a reminder of that fact, and Ford couldn’t be breathing easier.


End file.
